5 Philosophies that Keep Me Sane
This post was inspired by the image above. :)
As you can imagine, life is a little crazy with so many little ones around. Here’s a few personal philosophies I have that keep me sane, healthy and happy.
Do not expect anything near perfection.
Most days my house won’t be clean, possibly not even tidy. There is lots of dirty clothes strewn everywhere. If bother to clean up, it is dirty within an hour. I often don’t have the time or energy to maintain friendships throughout the day. Cooking is always a drag. I could always be a better more loving mom than I am. And guess, what? All those things are okay. I think expecting too much is a major way to be unhappy. I don’t expect my house to be tidied until the end of the day. I don’t expect the day to go easy or well. I don’t expect my kids to behave perfectly. We all just do our best, and it’s always okay.
Do whatever you need to survive.
There has to be a caveat here. But in general this is a good philosophy. There is no time for mom guilt to kick in. My kids don’t have to eat only organic foods. They can sometimes watch more than one show on TV. They want to wear their elmo slippers to the park? Fine. One time we offered Clairvax an M&M to stop crying and go to sleep, and guess what? It worked. You can’t battle everything. I can’t battle everything. With little energy to get through the day, I have to pick the most important things to me, and if everything is going wrong, then I have to give myself the freedom to incorporate some exceptions to the normal rules in order to survive the day.
Nap times are for sleeping or passion projects. That’s it!
Nap times are never time to do chores. At least, not for me. This is a huge reason for my sanity. I refuse to do any cooking or cleaning during nap time. Instead, I work on a creative endeavor or I take a nap myself. I always feel great and rejuvenated afterward. It is a midday treat to me. It’s okay to claim a time of the day that’s just for you.
Family time should be balanced with other needs for time.
Early on when we had the twins, Ryan & I were all about family time. If he was home, it was family time or couple time, that’s it. I think it was good we stuck to that for the first year, as we weren’t used to having our attention divided away from each other from our time pre-kids. But after that adjustment period, we both recognize the goodness of being with other people or setting aside time for other things. Ryan sometimes plays basketball, goes to a movie or works on a house project with a friend during the day. I’m known to grab a coffee or brunch with a friend and maybe do some shopping by myself. At night, we save at least one hour of quality time for each other, but we frequently work side by side or just let the other one go out. Ryan likes to catch a movie, and I like to go to a wine cafe. Being more generous with our time to things outside our family has only made us happier and better at living our vocation.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Did C & A refuse a nap? Oh well, they’ll sleep better tomorrow. Did my kids scream all day? Maybe they’ll be more calm tomorrow. Were they so rowdy we got kicked out of the Library? Yes, and we’re never going back. Just kidding. But seriously, I say this to myself very often. There are plenty of bad days but the good news is that they’re merely sprinkled among the much more plentiful good days. Each day we have an opportunity to try again, so if today was a mess, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.
Feel free to share with me some of your own life’s philosophies that help get you through the day!