How We Found Out We Were Having Twins
We had already been to the doctor's office. We had already had an ultrasound. We had already had a cute little moment where saw our precious little speck of a baby. "He/she is the cutest little speck I've ever seen," I remember my husband said to me. We were already filled with wonder, amazement, a bit of fear and lots of joy.
I had already pictured my life come August. Our first anniversary later that November, celebrating as a cute family of three. I had already looked up daycare fees for one and I was excited to go back to work. I was excited to wait a little longer before having another. I was excited to have some special time just with this baby.
What we hadn't done is hear the baby's heart beat. It was simply just a tad too soon, and we couldn't see the flash yet. We came back three weeks later. I coached Ryan on remembering to record the heartbeat on his phone. I was trying to calm my nerves. I was terrified that perhaps there wouldn't be a heartbeat at all.
When the doctor started the ultrasound, I didn't hear anything. It was concerning for me because I was under the impression that I would immediately hear a heartbeat.
All of a sudden our doctor gasps. My immediate thought is "Oh no!" Our doctor asks if we see what he sees. I look up at the screen and I can't make out a thing. I just see a bunch of fuzzy gray grains.
"I don't see anything," I say nervously.
My doctor replies, "Well, let's count the babies."
Now, although my doctor is the best, that's a crazy statement. He didn't say, "Oh look there's two!" or "Congratulations! You're having twins!" He chose "Let's count the babies!"
My eyes immediately dart back to the screen. As I look again I see several clumps of gray.
I think to myself, "OH MY GOSH, THERE'S AN ENTIRE COLONY IN THERE!"
My doctor starts to count: Onnnnnnnnne *with the inflection upwards*, Twwwwwooooooo *with the inflection upwards*.
THIS IS NOT HOW SOMEONE COUNTS TO TWO. You count "onnnnnnnne, two." End on two. Make it clear with your intonation that it ends with two!
At this point I look over at my husband and I've never seen his face so white. He looked at me and stared blankly. He was absolutely speechless.
I start screaming in my mind, "STOP COUNTING!"
"Yep, and it looks like no third baby, just two."
We were still quiet.
My doctor goes on for a couple of minutes about all the extra care and specialists we would need to see and how this would change the deliver date.
We were still silent.
Finally, a couple minutes later I became the first to speak with a meek, "okay."
My doctor met me with, "Great! That's all you can say!" He handed us a picture of out cute little babies, who upon second glance, looked very human and sour patch kid-like, and shuffled us out the door.
I'll be honest, it was hard information to hear. In a matter of minutes, everything I had previously come to terms with was no longer true. & every fear I had came racing to the surface.
"I don't even know how to take care of one baby. How am I going to handle two?"
"I worked so hard for my career. Do I really have to leave my job that I love?"
I was barely 22. We were due to deliver two babies eight months after our wedding. We had barely any savings. I remember laughing hysterically as we drove off from the appointment in my husband's mustang which in and of itself was a reminder of our lack of readiness for children.
Ryan finally broke his silence with, "I don't know what to say... God will see us through." Then we called family members and friends to tell them and no one believed us. We had to convince eah of them we were not joking.
Time went by and our excitement grew. I saw God provide for our family in every single way we needed. I wish I would have known then how much joy these little babies would bring to our home and our hearts. They are worth every pain of a tough pregnancy. They are worth every sleepless night. They are worth every dream we've had to put on hold or sacrifice. Life is just objectively better with them in it.
Perfect love casts out all fear, you know?